Entries from March 2009 ↓

Being modest of your success is more impressive than showing off about it. It shows a high level of communication culture, it expresses your equality with the person you’re talking to and your satisfaction with your own achievements.

The modesty of a Nobel Prize winner

What got me thinking is an interview with the nobel economist Gary Becker. The reporter was so impressed by his modest way of behavior despite his great economical achievements, that he wrote big part of  the introduction about it. Here’s what he said:

Slumped in a soft chair in a noisy hotel coffee lounge, the 78-year-old University of Chicago professor is relaxed and remarkably humble for a guy who has achieved so much. As I pepper him with the economic and financial riddles of our time, I am impressed by how many times his answers, delivered in a pronounced Brooklyn accent, include an “I think” and sometimes even an “I don’t know the answer to that.” It is a reminder of why he is so highly valued. In contrast to a number of other big-name practitioners of the dismal science, he is a solid empiricist genuinely in search of answers — not the job as the next chairman of the Federal Reserve. What he sees is what you get.

Quote from Wall Street Journal

Let’s call this a reverse effect of expressing feelings. If professor Becker wasn’t humble and modest of his success, he wouldn’t have impressed the reporter. The more you brag and show off what you’re proud of, the more others think that you’re not satisfied and that’s why you need to show off publically.

So by underrating your achievements when talking to others, they’ll see them as even more valuable and you’ll make an impression of a nice, humble person.

It’s all about voice tone and words

Speak of yourself using a calm and relaxed voice. Don’t sound too excited. This shows to others that you have self-acceptance. Any strong feeling about yourself means that you have disbalance in your mind and you need to think things over.

Use phrases like “I think”, “If you ask me”, “In my opinion” when asked to express a point of view. This demonstrates that you accept others’ opinions and don’t think of yourself as superior or right about everything.

Thank you for choosing our centuries-old product, called Friendship. It has been designed and improved to be easy to use for every customer. Thanks to the Internet, we have expanded its capabilities online. Now, interaction and communication with other users is as easy as pie.

Tips for proper use of Friendship:

1. Be a nice and positive person. In order to attract attention and interest, smile, think optimistically and don’t complain or criticize.
2. Become a good listener. Everyone wants to be heard. And since social networks and chat programs were put into massive use, less people have been learning the art of being a good listener offline. So being one will be greatly appreciated by others.
3. Make the other person feel important. Listen to them, ask them questions, talk about their interests (not yours), show them appreciation and be kind. Express happiness and thankfulness.
4. Talk when you have something to say. Sharing stupid or boring things will not make your interesting for other people. Talk only when you have something to say. You’ll realize how many things you can say once you start talking less.
5. Show respect. Don’t argue with others and never say the word combination “You’re wrong.” It’s the worst thing you can say. Unless somebody’s life depends on it, don’t express (publicly or personally) their wrongness.
6. When you’re wrong or sorry, express it. There’s nothing wrong in showing respect towards somebody by admitting to him or her that you made a mistake and that you’re sorry about that. There’s no need to lie down on your knees and forget about your self-respect. But sorry and I was wrong are two words with magic value, since few others use them.
7. Ask questions and don’t give orders. A friend has a bigger chance of doing something when you ask them for it. Telling them do DO it now will work very rarely – it’s a token of disrespect and superiority. Friends are considered to be equal and appreciative to one another.
8. Encourage others for action. Even when somebody has made a big mistake, tell them it’s easy to correct. Motivate and encourage them to improve their lives – it will really help them. And such kind of help is hard to forget.

For more tips, please refer to Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People. Otherwise, you can check out our Friendship manual’s section called How To Win Friends for more detailed instructions.

Friendship troubleshooting

1. If the other person doesn’t respect you, don’t even try to become friends.
2. If you don’t respect the other person, you’ll get the same from them. In friendship, you get more from the other person of what you feel. So if you like them, they’ll like you. If they irritate you, you’ll irritate them. It’s as simple as that.
3. When a conflict arouses, try to deal with it verbally, avoiding aggression. A simple dispute can ruin great friendships unless treated carefully. Express your sorriness and let the other person realize they’re wrong.

Now you’re ready to use Friendship. Have a wonderful life!

Image by Vagner Zil

In the end of the day, right before you fall asleep, think of how many people you thanked. The nice girl from Starbucks who you bought your morning coffee from, your friend for giving you some help, your colleague for sharing a tip with you. Only when you remember their faces, you’ll realize the power of saying “Thank you.”

Try to express your good feelings more and more as each day comes. Give the people around you some happiness and gratefulness just by showing it to them. It’s contageous and that’s the best part about it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this short message. Thank you for following this amazing tip that will change your mood instantly. Now it’s your turn .

Image by Shawn Carpenter

As I’m writing this article, I’m trying to beat the flu I caught yesterday. As any other thing in life, the best I can do is try to improve my situation and get my health back. Here I’ll share some of my tips on how to do that.

• Get a day off. Going to work sick will only make it worse. Take a break, have some sleep or just relax on your bed. If you can, go to a doctor and get yourself examined. They usually know the best medication to heal fast.
• Use your free time wisely. Relaxing on your bed all day may make you feel depressed. Recovering your health means really wanting it back. Try to do some simple tasks like cleaning and organizing your desk, cooking something etc. It will help you feel healthy again.
• Eat some chicken soup. It always relaxes my neck and puts me in a nice homely mood. But any soup that’s not too spicy will do.
• Drink lemon juice. Half a lemon squeezed in a glass of water, sweetened with some honey or sugar cleans your throat and refreshes your body with all those healthy vitamins. Feeling fresh and energetic is a major part of feeling healthy.
• Drink lots of water. When we have a high temperature there is more water lost as sweat, which must be replaced by drinking more. Don’t become dehydrated.
• Let your body heal itself. Temperature between 37ºC (98.6ºF) and 38.5ºC (101ºF) is a natural reaction of your body to the infection. Treating this kind of temperature means healing slower. Of course, I take medicine to reduce it when I feel uncomfortable. You should always contact your doctor first.
• Stay cool. Drink cool and not cold water. Have moderate showers – neither hot or warm. Keep your room ventilated.

Today, I’m doing all of those things and I hope to get better as soon as possible. I would be very grateful if you share some advice too.

The Secret is a remarkable film and book on the law of attraction. The film introduces this law and the book tells you how to exactly apply it to get what you want.

What does the law of attraction say?

You attract into your life anything that consumes your thoughts and emotions – positive or negative.

Have you ever wondered why some people always get what they don’t want? That’s because they focus only on that and not on what they really want.

The Secret is knowing what you want. It’s the process of realizing it and changing your thoughts to positive – believing that you will succeed.

Think only about what you want

Each time I get a negative thought (like I don’t want that or I don’t have enough money), I ask myself: What do I really want?

After answering the question, I start focusing on success – on achieving what I want, instead of focusing on what I don’t want and how I’ll never get it. I use my question method to see if it’s possible for me to succeed. If it is, I try to do anything I can to get what I want.

Motivated action

If you’re skeptical about the law of attraction, please answer this question:

Will you succeed and get what you want by thinking that you can’t and never will? Will you do something if you’re negative about that and don’t believe in yourself?

I don’t think so. I call this motivated action. We take motivated action when we know what we want.

Stay tuned for some more posts on motivated action and the law of attraction.