Image by Ronaldo Cabuhat

Let me start with a story this time: John, a young ambitious entrepreneur needed a partner to create a new store for portable computers. He knew that his friend Alan was good with technology and had sufficient laptop knowledge, so he thought he made the right choice to make him his colleague.

They decided that one of them would work three days per week, than the other one would take over the salesdesk for another three.

As time went by, John noticed that Alan wasn’t very serious about their business. Al would close the store two hours early and didn’t really seem to care when a customer entered the store. I’ll tell you what happened next in just a minute.

In my world, there are three kinds of people. Those who seem trustworthy but will selfishly deceive you sooner or later. Those who don’t care for anything and everyone else sees that. And the third, must-know type, who have found the right combination between helping others and their own personal interests.

Always be on the search for the third kind and be cautious with the first.

Anyway, let’s check out what happened to John and Alan‘s fairly new computer store.

People started noticing that one of the salespeople from John & Al Portable simply refused to help them, no matter how much money they were ready to pay for a new device or tech support. So they just started to go to a store 10 minutes away with a much friendlier staff. Needless to say, the store failed and John made a mistake he’ll never forget. He hadn’t thought that Alan was a good friend, but not a good business partner.

Don’t make John’s mistake.

Do you know contagiously joyful people that charge you with positive energy only with their presence?

In case you don’t, it’s about time you met one or even became one yourself. Try giving others a smile when they don’t seem to have one and the results will be magical. You’ll instantly become the person to be with in any situation.

How to make others happier using 8 simple tricks

1. Listen. Everyone wants to be heard much more than they want to hear.
2. Compliment. It’s the details that matter. If your girl has bought a new blouse, say that the color really suits her.
3. Smile. The good thing about smiling is that it’s always welcomed and often contagious.
4. Remember. Ask your colleague if he or she has fixed her car problem. It means you really listened the last time the two of you talked.
5. Give help. But only when you’re asked for it.
6. Be serious. From time to time, people need serious conversations without gossip or fun jokes. Be that guy or gal when necessary.
7. Do what is needful. Give hugs, kisses, pats on the shoulder or simple “you’ll do fine” messages, depending on the person you’re talking to.
8. Be honest. Most people know when you’re lying, so just be frank with them.

The skills mentioned need time and will to be mastered. But a combination of at least three of them can make you a great communicator. Thanks for taking the time to read this article!

Written by CBSE Sample Papers

Here is a task for all you readers for today. Think about the person you dislike the most, preferably someone related to your profession. Take a notepad and write ten reasons why you dislike him.

Do not get carried away and write reasons like “I just don’t like him”. Be honest and impartial.

Done? What are you waiting for?

Done now?

Good!

Now look at the reasons again keeping you in the mind. Yes, think it like this way – If someone else was to write such a list about you, will these reasons appear in that list? Put a check mark beside every reason that you think people will say about you. Again, be honest and impartial because you won’t again anything by lying to yourself.

Now you know what your shortcomings are. Take another sheet of paper and write the solution to each shortcoming. Solution may be one time, or something to follow daily, but make sure you write it down.

Now keep this paper in your drawer. And every morning go through it. When you have done every solution (for daily ones, keep a 30 day limit), redo the exercise.

This will help you find your own mistakes and solve them yourself without embarrassment.

Hope each one of you find this useful. If you have any similar self-improvement tasks in mind, leave it in the comments on mail it to me.

“Sure that we can talk, as long as we don’t say too much.” That’s one of my favorite mafia movie quotes worth mentioning. Often people have the bad habit to share too much. More than enough details or more than enough personal opinions and feelings can make more harm than good.

A piece of Dale Carnegie’s best advice of all time is to praise publicly and criticize silently. Nobody likes to be condemned or criticized in front of others, nor to be commented behind his own back.

So if you’re willing to maintain positive relationships, pay detailed attention to what you say. Talk freely without saying too much.

I’m happy to introduce my small ebook called Be Remarkable: The Simple Guide to Being A Great Person!

It contains 18 easy-to-apply tips that will help you make friends, influence people and be perceived as a wonderful person that people want to be with.

The ebook is light, of 8 pages, made with great love and appreciation for all of you who regularly read my blog. Get it today only for $5 USD, available for instand download after paymend in .PDF format. I have tried to summarize all of my life values and tips on successful relationships in a short and pratical manner.

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I strongly believe that a true leader should make an impact on every single person he starts a conversation with. It’s the best way to stand out from the crowd and to be remembered. So here’s my personal guide to being the person in any room or place.

Remember people’s names

A person’s name is the sweetest word to them in any language. Try to remember names, they’re often quite simple and short. It shows that you’ve taken interest in your conversation mate and you’ve made an effort to remember him or her.

This can be quite tough. However, I tend to associate a name with a visual. It could be a face, the person’s phone or something they often do. This easy technique really helps when names do matter.

It’s all about them

Isn’t it interesting how you can be a perceived great conversationalist without having said anything of value? Well, just learn to listen properly.

Often people start conversations with great enthousiasm because they’ve found a listener. In exchange, most of them will listen back. But the better conversationalist and true leader will understand what others care for. They’ll look into others’ passions and encourage them to speake about what they love.

Communicate your ideas clearly

Respect the time of your listener or reader. Also have in mind the fact that their attention is quite limited. They’ll not be willing to listen to you unless you communicate your ideas as soon and as clearly as possible.

Use short, easy-to-understand words. Don’t use slang or terminology. Look at the person’s eyes and feel when they don’t really understand what you’re trying to say. If needed, repeat it.

Master your body language

Let me explain it as simple as I can: don’t cross your legs or hands. Stand up straight when talking and look people at the eyes. Do relatively slow, relaxed movements with purpose. Avoid nervous signs such as shaking legs or scratching yourself. Don’t touch or cover your face while talking. And always look as fresh as possible. Nobody likes a tired listener showing no interest.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts! The list seems complete to me, but if you have any more tips on how to make an impact, please share them in the comments. I wish you a successful and pleasant day.

Complain as little as possible. It’s the easiest thing you can do to become a nicer person who respects others and who doesn’t bother them with his problems.

It also helps you build a more positive attitude towards everyday life that influences your actions and other people’s state of mind. You know that’s not a secret, but people tend to like others who don’t complain and who are more convinced of their own power and possibilities.

Scientists have proved that less complaining lowers your stress levels and increases your happiness mood. So, please, in your sake and the sake of the people who you value, complain less.

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If we can learn something about being a good communicator, it will be from Dale Carnegie. He was one of the earliest speakers and founders of the self improvement industry that nowadays spans the globe.

So if you haven’t read one of his best books called How To Win Friends And Influence People, I really recommend doing it. In this article I’ll share Dale’s top 10 tips on becomming a great communicator that became golden for me. Ones that I try to follow each day and each time I speak.

Dale Carnegie’s 10 Golden Tips

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Become genuinely interested in other people.
4. Smile.
5. Be a good listener.
6. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
7. Make the other person feel important.
8. If you’re wrong, admit it.
9. Show respect to the other person.
10. Let others do a great deal of the talking.

The book was first published in 1953, but the advice it contains have proved timeless. Mobile phones, social networks, VoIP communication often make us forget the basics of being a likeable person, such as the ten above. That’s why the few people who still remember them stick out from the crowd. So why not be one of them?

Being modest of your success is more impressive than showing off about it. It shows a high level of communication culture, it expresses your equality with the person you’re talking to and your satisfaction with your own achievements.

The modesty of a Nobel Prize winner

What got me thinking is an interview with the nobel economist Gary Becker. The reporter was so impressed by his modest way of behavior despite his great economical achievements, that he wrote big part of  the introduction about it. Here’s what he said:

Slumped in a soft chair in a noisy hotel coffee lounge, the 78-year-old University of Chicago professor is relaxed and remarkably humble for a guy who has achieved so much. As I pepper him with the economic and financial riddles of our time, I am impressed by how many times his answers, delivered in a pronounced Brooklyn accent, include an “I think” and sometimes even an “I don’t know the answer to that.” It is a reminder of why he is so highly valued. In contrast to a number of other big-name practitioners of the dismal science, he is a solid empiricist genuinely in search of answers — not the job as the next chairman of the Federal Reserve. What he sees is what you get.

Quote from Wall Street Journal

Let’s call this a reverse effect of expressing feelings. If professor Becker wasn’t humble and modest of his success, he wouldn’t have impressed the reporter. The more you brag and show off what you’re proud of, the more others think that you’re not satisfied and that’s why you need to show off publically.

So by underrating your achievements when talking to others, they’ll see them as even more valuable and you’ll make an impression of a nice, humble person.

It’s all about voice tone and words

Speak of yourself using a calm and relaxed voice. Don’t sound too excited. This shows to others that you have self-acceptance. Any strong feeling about yourself means that you have disbalance in your mind and you need to think things over.

Use phrases like “I think”, “If you ask me”, “In my opinion” when asked to express a point of view. This demonstrates that you accept others’ opinions and don’t think of yourself as superior or right about everything.

Thank you for choosing our centuries-old product, called Friendship. It has been designed and improved to be easy to use for every customer. Thanks to the Internet, we have expanded its capabilities online. Now, interaction and communication with other users is as easy as pie.

Tips for proper use of Friendship:

1. Be a nice and positive person. In order to attract attention and interest, smile, think optimistically and don’t complain or criticize.
2. Become a good listener. Everyone wants to be heard. And since social networks and chat programs were put into massive use, less people have been learning the art of being a good listener offline. So being one will be greatly appreciated by others.
3. Make the other person feel important. Listen to them, ask them questions, talk about their interests (not yours), show them appreciation and be kind. Express happiness and thankfulness.
4. Talk when you have something to say. Sharing stupid or boring things will not make your interesting for other people. Talk only when you have something to say. You’ll realize how many things you can say once you start talking less.
5. Show respect. Don’t argue with others and never say the word combination “You’re wrong.” It’s the worst thing you can say. Unless somebody’s life depends on it, don’t express (publicly or personally) their wrongness.
6. When you’re wrong or sorry, express it. There’s nothing wrong in showing respect towards somebody by admitting to him or her that you made a mistake and that you’re sorry about that. There’s no need to lie down on your knees and forget about your self-respect. But sorry and I was wrong are two words with magic value, since few others use them.
7. Ask questions and don’t give orders. A friend has a bigger chance of doing something when you ask them for it. Telling them do DO it now will work very rarely – it’s a token of disrespect and superiority. Friends are considered to be equal and appreciative to one another.
8. Encourage others for action. Even when somebody has made a big mistake, tell them it’s easy to correct. Motivate and encourage them to improve their lives – it will really help them. And such kind of help is hard to forget.

For more tips, please refer to Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People. Otherwise, you can check out our Friendship manual’s section called How To Win Friends for more detailed instructions.

Friendship troubleshooting

1. If the other person doesn’t respect you, don’t even try to become friends.
2. If you don’t respect the other person, you’ll get the same from them. In friendship, you get more from the other person of what you feel. So if you like them, they’ll like you. If they irritate you, you’ll irritate them. It’s as simple as that.
3. When a conflict arouses, try to deal with it verbally, avoiding aggression. A simple dispute can ruin great friendships unless treated carefully. Express your sorriness and let the other person realize they’re wrong.

Now you’re ready to use Friendship. Have a wonderful life!

Image by Vagner Zil

In the end of the day, right before you fall asleep, think of how many people you thanked. The nice girl from Starbucks who you bought your morning coffee from, your friend for giving you some help, your colleague for sharing a tip with you. Only when you remember their faces, you’ll realize the power of saying “Thank you.”

Try to express your good feelings more and more as each day comes. Give the people around you some happiness and gratefulness just by showing it to them. It’s contageous and that’s the best part about it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this short message. Thank you for following this amazing tip that will change your mood instantly. Now it’s your turn .

If I could sum up what I’ve learned about self-respect, it would look like this simple equation:

Self-respect = Accepting yourself + Being surrounded by people who appreciate you

Accept who and what you are. Feel positive and thankful for it. Change what you can’t accept about yourself. Set realistic challenges and make all the efforts to come up to them.

About two years ago I understood that nobody’s perfect. I realized my good and bad sides. I accepted them and now I’m trying with all I can to improve. That doesn’t mean that I don’t respect my current situation. What I also understood back then was the importance of the people I communicated with…

You can only be self-respective when surrounded by people who respect you. So stick with them and avoid all kinds of social contacts with people who can’t really appreciate others, especially you.

What they never told you in school about communication is that the way you feel when talking to somebody impacts the way he perceives you. Happier people (those who smile more) have more friends than negative people. That’s because when they’re talking, they feel positive emotions.

Appreciate and forgive others.

When I make visual contact with people, I always repeat one thought: I forgive and appreciate you. When you hear those simple words in your mind, your eyes, tone of voice and attitude towards the person you’re talking to change completely. You start enjoying the conversation, feeling great about that and smiling more.

Let go of those negative thoughts and emotions. If you don’t like somebody, it’s because he’s done something insulting to you in the past. That doesn’t mean he or she will do that again. Of course, if you’re thinking “I can’t stand that bastard”, don’t expect anything different from him either.

The way you think about others – positive or negative – influences your ability to make friends and to be accepted as a nice and communicative person. Make the better choice today and change your attitude to positiveness.

This also means not giving out any criticism or complaints. Be a nice person and keep this kind of thoughts for yourself. They will appreciate that quality.

Be a good listener.

Everyone wants to be heard. More than he want to listen to you.

The best conversationlists in the world tend to listen more than they speak. They encourage others to talk about themselves, about what they like and what they’re interested in. The best speakers in the world encourage others to think about themselves. But they’re being paid for it.

Say good things about other people.

The qualities you say that others possess are automatically asigned to you. So if I’m talking to Jim that John is borind, Jim will think that I’m boring, too. But if I say that he’s a nice and funny guy, Jim will think the same about me. Remember that rule and use it each day.

We’re all human beings and we all make mistakes.

If you want to be accepted and admired by others, try forgiving them. The next time they do something irritating, don’t start an argument. Understand them and forgive them. Think of how much you love or appreciate that person. Let the good feelings dominate.

Suddenly, you’re seeing the world from a completely different view – an independent one from you negative thoughts and feelings that help you think and act more rationally.

So, please, make yourself a favor and forgive those around you. Only then will they forgive you.